Devilishly delicious

My nephew Michael Kelley, who may be itching for a gig at The Onion, made his first foray into journalism yesterday by penning the following devilishly sardonic news article:

Clinton Global Initiative Donor List Sparks Controversy
by Michael D. Kelley

The release of the list of donors to former President Bill Clinton's latest philanthropic effort is proving problematic to the incoming Obama Administration.

Among the major contributors is Mephistopheles, the infamous protagonist of Goethe's greatest literary work. The immortal demon has developed a poor reputation, as the driving force behind every human calamity since the dawn of time.

Still, the former president stands behind his philanthropic partner. "Mephisto's a good guy," says Clinton, "just misunderstood. He and I go way back."

Those in Obama's transition team are debating whether the intensely unpopular Ruler of the Underworld might negatively influence the decisions of the incoming administration. Obama addressed the issue Friday, speaking of a recent meeting with Secretary of State Clinton and her husband.

"I have spoken with Hillary and Bill, and I am now confident that Mr. Beelzebub will not be a problem."

Still, doubts linger as to whether That Old Serpent will have an insidious effect on domestic policy, perhaps leading to societal problems such as dancing or the breaking of the Sabbath.